How To Heal Yourself

On a hot summer night in Cairo, Egypt, a week after cutting many watermelon slices with my slender hands, I went to the hospital to have a doctor look into my right index finger which had something in it that felt like a pebble. It was a holistic bag, a symptom that appears when humans use their limbs a lot- such as handymen or teachers who correct a lot. I knew since I first felt something was up that I’d have to undergo surgery, it didn’t feel normal. Although the doctor assured me the h-bag was nothing serious, he even cancelled the whole examination and didn’t let us pay, I was nervous. I was trying so hard to stay calm but in my head I kept circling over the h-bag in my hand and look if it was getting worse. I didn’t want to travel to Dubai while being sick, but there was no way I’d have my finger cut open and the bag removed in the middle of the night, especially since we were traveling the day after! 

I recall how I felt for the holistic bag, that was on my mind very often, at checkout and departure. I was scared for my right index finger, the probably most important finger of all. 

But, sub7an Allah, what I thought was unfortunate turned out to be a great blessing. While experiencing Dubai my thoughts and energy went from circling around the holistic bag in my hand to other way more pleasant things. It’s okay I told myself; simple handymen with not enough money to be cured live with them and they are well. That was my most comforting thought. If they can deal with it- and they work way harder with their limbs than I do- then so can I deal with that tiny thing. Incredible, how the less fortunate have become my source of feeling well. And so on and so forth, within time, my worries about the holistic bag shrunk more and more. Until, waking up one day, I realized that I was cured. My hand was well, my finger beautifully fine. 

I filled my mind with feelings of wellbeing and happiness, and shifted my energie away from the h-bag and to other things that made me feel positive. I changed the frequency- from feeling sick and worried to feeling healthy and happy. And how I was (feeling and being) whitin couldn’t but  be mirrored onto my outside; feeling and thinking “wellbeing” made me “being well”.